LIFE IN LA - POST EARTHQUAKE FUN

The following is from the Let's Drink (there was an entirely unrelated almost natural disaster) email chain:

Wee: ...'ll try him when I get myself a phone that fu*king works.

Dixie: Franks!

Hench Girl: LET'S GO DRINKING!!!!!!!!!! Natural disasters lead me to drink, what can I say?

WBH(wnm): D & I are good but the cat's started bouncing off the walls like a pinball machine played by Dolly Partons breasts which makes me want to have more earthquakes.

Damnit: Everything is cool here. My toothpaste fell over though. The song playing on my iTunes shuffle right now is "you shook me all night long" AC/DC :)

Oh babies! My love for you all is seismic.

COUCH SURFING

A drill for the BIG ONE.

LA had a good sized shaker this morning. It was a nice rolling motion that knocked out all the phones and lasted nearly a minute. I am going to call it a free foot massage and continue on with my day. Thanks all my lovelies for your texts and emails!!

xoxo, wee

SWEET WAYS TO SAVE

need this. now.

* good design is always good for the environment! go yanko!

I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE!!

NUT SACK ON NATIONAL TV!!


I have pondered this ad for a week or 2 now. In my brain I know that they must be saying NUT SNACK, but then again, the darn things come in bags so...maybe? Either way, people this is just wrong!

And very funny.

I googled the term (yes I googled "NUT SACK") to see if I was imagining this whole phenomenon, and (thankfully!) I am not. Other bloggers are all a-giggle over this, just like me. I have to say that even though I have just written that NUT SACK would be wrong, it would also be wickedly clever. I might even buy those nuts, and I don't like nuts.

* Update - I saw the ad again while writing this post and wouldn't you know, they have changed their tag line to something like, great natural snack. Not funny.

NICE VIEW

* pacific ocean, malibu beach CA

STREET MEAT BABY!

I was hesitant. I was leery. But hello, who can resist that wonderful aroma after many, many beers? I broke down and got mustard on my face. I was in heaven.


observe


share






scarf!




we were here

COCKTAILS AND DREAMS

all dive bars should have a Chinese theme!







* The Drawing Room

HAPPY HOUR - LOS FELIZ 07/08

Friday in the city was hot enough to melt the flesh off the devil. Even the pigeons were too miserable to fly. It was time to find a happy hour!







* found at cuba libre, perfect mojitos.

VACATION REAL ESTATE ON MY MIND

I vote to burn all second home wicker furniture in a giant garden bonfire. I will graciously provide interior design services to all who partake. Thank-you.


hoo-who doesn't love this lamp? comes in a snail too!



dingle ball dish towel - LOVE!



I know I hate birds, but I am down with the screen printed kind


* from anthropologie!

WEE CAKES!

wee love birdies!


perfect for summer birthdays!

* thanks tastespotting!

SHORT TERM

The Princess of Shortness took her index finger and absently rubbed the spot where the ocean had picked off a corner of her big toe nail. This Princess (of Shortness) is not a real Princess, but for the purpose of this story she is as much a real Princess as any Sara or Ann, or (of) Tallness. For all heroines should be Princesses shouldn't they? Just as all her suitors ought to be Prince Charmings, be they flowers, tigers or tube socks. But back to the toe.

She could not recall the moment that the ocean had taken it's talisman from her. It had not hurt. In fact she had only noticed here in the tub (our Princess is having a bath - but not a typical bath for her. Tonight the water is barely warm and usually she only soaks in freshly boiled tea - minus the bag.) and she is neither amused or vexed. Point of fact, she is actually barely aware of the jagged edge, having her royal mind drifting like the foam on top of the waves.

She ran the bath to wash the salt and dried slick off of her legs and scalp. The lukewarm water did its job. As the Princess lounged with her book (that she is reading, not writing) she found herself at odds with the water. Or maybe it was the tub. She would lie on her back and then roll first to one side, then the other. Hip or elbow poking out of the bubbles. For a time she wedged one foot between the knobs that read HOT and COLD, while the other lay from knee to ankle on the rim of the porcelain. Like a goldfish in a bowl that is too small, she thought. My feet are my fins, flopped out in the air, testing it. Maybe it is more comfortable than the water? And I am uncomfortable. (Princesses do not like being uncomfortable. They are unaccustomed to it.) It did not work. For a short time (made all the shorter by the fact that she is the Princess of Shortness) she read and forgot about her fins, but after 5 words she was back to readjusting them.

Finally she gave up (or in, depending on your perspective) and pulled the plug on all that warmish water. Which is when she discovered the missing piece of toe nail. She could not muster even so much as a, drat, in response. As the bubbleless water swirled away she used a yellow plastic cup to pour fresh water on her head. (This water too, was only warm.) Is this my grown up rubber ducky? Whatever sound the water may have made as it wound down her hair was lost to the ruckus of the faucet. How is it that in movies, bubble baths always look so glorious? Fluffy. Like a vats of meringue. Is there some secret bubble solution for movies only, because it is made of a terrible chemical that eats off one's skin? So the movie stars are first covered completely in super strength vasoline (which we cannot see since they are of course, in the bath)? This industrial level bubble bath must be made in the same lab as the necular bomb, for it is just as effective. Only not at world domination. Unless you believe Hollywood is the next Super Power. Which it may in fact be.

All of this is what casued the Princess to forget about her toe and let her mind wander like Jesus on the waves.

OG

I couldn't resist that title. This week I had occasion to talk about a) this song and b) that time I met Coolio. Whatever happened to him?


I met the man one night on the steps of my friends cheap ghetto apartment when we were all in college. High times.

EPIC

via txt (last week): Jess, just checked your blog. The pictures of you at the bowl / the girls were epic. Love S

via camera phone/email from Hench Girl (today):


this is epic.

* that's Dixie in the other corner!!

WORD.

I don't know who this reminds me more of, Dixie or the World's Best Husband - Who Isn't Mine. Luv you guys!



* c/o the rut.

GET YER "O" ON!!

This works!

* if it doesn't, blame Steph and her "fake" bumper sticker.

WEE FONTY

Do you know who I am (if I was a typeface)?



Here is my description:- Neo-Grotesque Sans Serif, that can find a style for every occasion!!

* HINTS: I was born in 1957. I am brothers with Neue House Grotesk (who goes by a way less cool moniker now) and Folio. Our Dad is the Mack Daddy of all Swiss typefaces.

AIRPLANE, EIGHTBALL, YING-YANG, GLASSES!

This has me laughing all the way to the bank. Strangely, Comic Sans looks a bit like an ex-boyfriend I once had. Thank-you CollegeHumor.com, thank-you.


watch me!

BABY YOU (FOR)GOT IT!!

A huge thank you to all my peeps! I completely forgot what today was!! Does that mean I am all fixed? Babies, when I am stupid rich I am hosting the biggest damn party, for like a year and it will be all purple haze and someone for everybody to love!!!

xoxo, wee

LAST NIGHT WAS KIND OF HUGE

No, not in that kind of way. But in a very real and casual atmosphere (read: a friend's house with Indian take-out and a 1.5 year old) I was introduced to; dooce.com (where in the hell have I been?), was encouraged to go after my newly minted dream of living as an ex-pat and the wii. I am all kinds of late. What can I say - me scardy cat. Which is odd, since I was not always this way. Or maybe I was and at some point I was just so fed up, that I broke.

In high school I was the requsite crabby teenager who had dreams of being a fashion designer/photographer cum archeologist. The one thing I was sure of, is that I would get the hell out of Northern California. I came south and spent a year drunk and bored, while I maintained a 3.5+ GPA and my virginity (that last one is neither here or there but someday I want proof for my daughter that you do not have to give it up. And no Ed H. your, "it's fun - like sex in high school" argument still doesn't hold water). Throwing all my proverbial eggs in the basket, I switched schools without an acceptance letter or a back-up plan.

100,000 dollars and a few years later, I am plenty educated and have a career as a designer (totally gave fashion the heave-ho and went all graphic). I drive my hot red dream car, have a killer apartment at the beach and a body that fits in a bikini. It's time to put all those future hatchlings back in the basket, and I am pissing myself about it. I got royally bitch slapped by the Universe, in the hopes that I would figure it the fuck out.

The answer is swiming in the water with me - I just suck at spear fishing. I guess I am afraid to stab my toes or something. Hot damn that is a lame excuse. Here is what I have figured out: I have worked really hard for the things I have and I don't want to loose them. I also don't want to hold on so tight that what I have now (at 29) is all I ever get (dies a thousand melodramatic deaths in head). So Universe, the deal I am making is this: Better things and you can have my hot car and my life in LA.

Sounds fair.

* ps - the members of our dinner party last night included: a former peace corp member, who is now a Marine, who just finished law school, is about to take the bar and has lived in like a bazillion countries! and is going to be a JAG once he passes. which he will, because with that kind of fearless track record, how could he not? the hostess- a new mom who is whip smart, super connected, went to standford for grad school and can css the shit out of anything (she is also beautiful and lovely and makes homemade caramel sauce to make up for the fact that she ordered take-out), her equally uber smarty brother who just quit google and is taking his own esoteric journey and her husband who teaches as a gaming professor at USC and rules at bath time with the baby -- talk about in-spi-ra-tion!!!!

CUTE RULZ

yogi in training -- note the foot action!

WHEE!!

ready


set


ski jump!






he's good!

I DO! I DO!

* c/o notcot

MITZVAHS AND MISSED BIRTHDAYS

what's in the box?


a seriously pissed off sparrow.

So I was supposed to help a good friend celebrate her Birthday with a sweet BBQ. Instead I wrestled a fledgling bird from the mouth of my sometimes cat. It was awesome. Oy.

MALIBU BEACH 07/08

namaste!












we were mooned right after this!!











* best stretch of beach in Malibu!

TEACUPS, SPARKLES ET C.

* Malibu, CA

BEACH BALL

* Malibu, CA

THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH OCTOPI ON THIS BLOG!

I heart these 8 armed (more technical than "tentacle") sea creatures! They are super crafty, and often escape when in captivity. Even though they live in the water, they can survive for periods of time on land. This allows them to go hunting in other fish tanks!

When my father was in college, the biology lab developed an odd problem. Fish, crabs and such started to go missing. Students and teachers alike, could only scratch their heads each morning when they would take inventory and discover yet again, more fish had disappeared. As it turned out, the clever octopus would wait until dark, when the lab had emptied out, then he would slip out of his tank and go on a feeding frenzy! Before class the next day he would return to his tank and no one was the wiser. He was eventually caught in a sting operation! I'd venture to bet he was as shocked to be caught, as the staff was to find the octopus was the culprit.

RENDEZ-VOUS AVEC DESTINITY

(CR)

Fresh off the train, I weaved through the crowed station. "Pardon!" "Excuse!" Jostled like an item on a conveyor belt, I was eventually spit out on the sidewalk, to take my first breaths of Parisian air. Perhaps if I was to return, I would remember what it smelled like. The amount of activity was truly astounding. In and out of the station went countless numbers of people. Cars zoomed down the street that was lined with all manner of vendors, who had created an impromptu late morning market.

Shortly our ride stopped in the middle of traffic and waved us in. With ourselves and our suitcases tossed in, off we went. Our driver was an overly excited young Frenchie, who drove who no eyes on the road, yelling into a cell phone whilst hugging me in the backseat, playfully puffing a joint and cheering in a mix of French and English, all while a cigarette was glued between his lips. Screeching to a halt, the car on the left made a right turn in front of us. "Marde!" And after much horn blowing we were off again. Our exit from the streets of Paris scared the petals off a flower cart and I thought, this might be my kind of town.

THE LADIES

* Hollywood Bowl, Ramp Box Section #375

THE LADIES ROOM

* Hollywood Bowl, West Gate Restroom

WTF - THE UK EDITION

Jordan vs. Jodie Mars - in public

* c/o gofugyourself

JE NE SAIS QUOI

* my love for the sartortialist grows, as does my desire for Milan!

KITCHEN CREATIVE

Stop Motion Spaghetti Cooking - Watch more free videos

* c/o zefrank.com

POOLSIDE CHIC

* Los Angeles

SUNDAY'S BEST

* Sunday, Los Angeles

POOL PORTRAITS - 07/08

D and S once again play a perfect host and hostess! This is gonna be a weekly round-up, right guys?

























* Sunday, Los Angeles

FRESHLY MINTED!!

Early Friday morning America earned herself 6,188 new citizens. And I got to be there. For 10+ years Sparkles has navigated through the citizenship process and the paperwork. Somehow after countless roadblocks and stumbles, her love for this country and her determination to become a proper part of it, has only grown.

After discovering she had flat tire and a dead camera battery, I drove us into downtown just as the morning rush hour was beginning. After Bank of America (why would we carry cash? and of course it was B of A!) we paid for a prime parking space that would allow us an easy exit, and avoidance of our fellow 6,000+ new best friends. Walking to the Convention Center, we past Staples and watched the cars streaming in for cheaper parking. We chatted about the last 9 years of friendship and our trips to INS, always at some god awful hour. We clasped hands like school girls and stamped our feet in a little dance as we finally approached the front doors.

People milled about inside like ants. As we crossed the shiny tile floors I was glad to have Sparkles welcomed in such an official way, and not in some random, rundown courtroom with an acoustic tile ceiling. After walking up the lobby stairs we discovered this was where I was separated and sent to sit with the other friends and family. I bid her goodbye and she trotted off in her blue and white stripey dress. All she needs is something red and she's a damn flag, I thought and giggled as I looked for a seat.

As it turned out we both found a seat in eye line of one another. How on Earth we accomplished that I will never know. It made the experience, magical. I was able to watch her say the oath and snap her picture as she pledged her allegiance to my - our country. It was the only point at which I was tempted to cry. The rest of the time I couldn't stop grinning. My seatmate was there for his mail-order Filipino bride with the significant age difference. Only I would get a chair next to that guy. He was hilarious. After the ceremony we parted ways before I could meet her.

On the way outside to wait, I picked up a certificate cover. I got her a red one in honor of her Croatian roots - their passport jackets are red. I was pleased to spot a pro Obama presence encouraging people to register to vote. During the ceremony, via txt msg, Sparky informed me of her new voter status. I quietly let her know I'd be canceling out her vote - so it was cool. Laughs all around ensued.

I spotted her just as she emerged into the sunshine. The pictures are priceless. I have never seen someone so happy. Ecstatic. We hugged and someone from the Obama camp offered to take our picture. There, in the pictures clutching the red certificate cover, I realised that I had accessorized her into a flag. How appropriate for my newly minted citizen. I laughed out loud and took her arm and suggested we go get some breakfast.

Welcome to America!











































* Downtown LA, July 11, 2008

#1

* Friday July 11, 2008

SCENES FROM THE TRACK

* Hollywood Park Racetrack, Los Angeles CA

'ROUND THE TRACK

I know that shortly the horse track and the newspaper will share a condo in the land of retirement. Future generations will regard both with the same puzzled look as the telephone booth, that they see in comic books. You mean there was a time before mobile phones and msnbc?

And I am all for going green and saving trees and I love the internet and such but, I love the horses too. And the mystique of the newsroom from back in it's glory days. Hello, I was obsessed with Newsies once upon a time! Because of it's old timey goodness and it was smart and communal. And without the track and the newspaper and the phone booth we are losing our sense of community.

Obtuse as that may sound, I think I am on to something. Once upon a time people got up, went to get a coffee, read the paper at the counter and chatted (or went to the newsstand and chatted). They checked the track results and maybe passed on a hot tip, or picked one up. Now you can certainly make a case that people still get up and wander down to Starbucks for coffee and the news. However it will be read off their laptop, while they chat on their mobile and ignore the other tables (no counters here), and I bet they've never left their laptop behind for the next person.

In another generation will we even know how to be a community?

BLIND DRUNK

How sweet is this?!

LUCY IN THE SKY

I just love fireworks. It's like sky glitter. And hot damn, I love accessories. Whee!











* west LA - these were from the locals - not professionals!! go reckless Angelenos!

I DON'T CONSIDER THAT A HOBBY!

Birthday Girl!




causing a ruckus


that's Quentin Tarantino, who was freaked out by my flash photography!











* been playing with the widescreen setting!

HAPPY MONDAY!!

hope your 4th rocked!

FLASHBACK FRIDAY - AMERICA'S BIRTHDAY

Something decidedly American, in honor of the Birthday Girl. Happy Birthday America!!

AMBER ALERT

UPDATE: this is actually part of a tragic story


405 S. West LA 1:15am

Amber Alert: Child abducted. Gold & Purple RV. LIC# 1ABC234

Apparently Jacko has taken another child. To throw everyone off his trail he hijacked Prince's RV to do it.

DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD

... and me and my little black heart are surely going to hell. But I find it a wee bit amusing that Bozo the Clown died of - heart failure.

I am so totally going to hell.

* thanks for the tip, Dixie! and yes clowns are creepy!!

SIGNATURE PLEASE

I am so madly in love with this family heirloom...thanks Great Aunt Winrick!




* thanks Grandma Ike too!

THE BARNEY'S TWINS

wee: Snarf!

S: Call me if you're spending too much time inside. And starting to -

wee: Snarf! Snarf!

S: Alright you, time for karaoke!

LIKE SHOP BOP FOR EUROPE, WITH DESIGNERS I'VE NEVER HEARD OF - BUT LOVE!

Fashion week is besting all my efforts not to be bamboozled by beautiful things I cannot afford. Here are some of my favorites from StyleServer's sale section. Good things can be marked down!! Click the photos to buy - one for me!













* c/o styleserver

WTF - THE Q&A EDITION

Can you guess what this is?



*answer on here!

YES, IF ONLY...

if Eve had worn Aziza, she wouldn't have needed an apple.

Oh jezzies, seriously this is the best thing I have seen all week. Where do you come up with these gems? Apparently there is no lipstick in this line of wonder cosmetics. Or is it just that women should be seen and not heard? I think I'll go stare at myself in the mirror and not think too much on that. Lovish!