Thursday, July 15, 2010


Six years ago right now I was probably sleeping. Just over half a decade later, I enjoyed a night at the pool drinking beers with my neighbor, re-hashing the one that got away.

I have a bona fide career, six years out. I have a house I built. Looking back I see many accomplishments, milestones really. But tonight I am 25 again and just out of the first of many surgeries, having no idea what lies ahead. I remember how wickedly hot it was already in Los Angeles. Settled in the present, via the past, I can feel that night, almost needing to scratch the bandage on my left boob. Christ I still had boobs, for 25 more days at that point.

Diary, dear Diary! Five years past, I was just returned from Europe with my life flip, turned upside down again. My heart torn in tatters, fist raised at the sky, shaking with anger and fear. That was the summer I tore off the mental bandages. I am pretty sure I sun burned my brain.

Years four and three, if I can't recall right now, I won't stress over. Two years ago I skipped through on an extended summer vacation. Last year I was packing for Paris, feeling like it was all coming to a close and starting over. I crammed so much into last year, last summer season.

So maybe this anniversary has returned with a vengeance from growing pains. In which case, bring on a decade because by then, I'll be on top of my game, just hitting my stride. One that, god willing, will carry me through the amazing marathon of the rest of my life.

x. J

* Downtown sneaks up you in the summer with last minute invitations and everyone more in the mood to random hang out. I love that about this city.


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