JULY 22, 2004 VS. JULY 22, 2009

5 goddamn years. 5 life changing years. 5 years filled with more experiences then I thought one person could manage.

Yes, today marks the 5 year birthday of cancer.

The first anniversary was a disaster. It spelled the true beginning of the end of the relationship I was in at the time. I was working and should have taken the day off. I thought my head would explode. I almost bought a new car. I got into a HUGE fight with a parent-in-law type person, because they were an asshole. I cried myself to sleep next to someone and felt so totally alone, I thought my sky was falling in.

Number 2 I took the day off. Let's not talk about how I spent that day, inebriated.

By the time the 3rd day rolled around I was better. I was getting ready to move jobs and planning a trip to London. I was dealing with the first major cancer recurrence scare, which strangely made the first bout's anniversary easier to handle. I realize that makes absolutely no sense, but somehow having a MRI scan that day brought me back to something familiar, and I felt in control. Leave it to me to need the hospital to make me feel better. Most people would die to be back there and here I was handing out Valiums to the older ladies getting the same thing done and scared out of their wits. I was all, this shit is a breeze. Swallow this.

Last year, I don't even remember what I did that day. I was on vacation (being between jobs), but I don't recall needing to be out or to talk a whole lot about it. I do remember that I think I nearly forgot it was the day. Which in retrospect is awesome.

Now I am working, just returned from Paris and seeing where this adventure continues to take me. First stop, a party thrown at my favorite Hotel Bar, by one of my best girls. And I am just excited to catch everyone up on Paris. Screw cancer.

xoxo, wee

PS - Happy Anniversary Mom and Ed-Dad! What a difference 5 years makes. And to Peg - maybe our blue day isn't so blue? But know that I still miss Christopher too. Love you my family!