NOT SO GREAT THINGS ABOUT LIVING ON YOUR OWN

Chewed up fish flesh, the smell every girl is dying to come home to.

Tuesday evening I worked a bit late, hit the grocery store and was feeling, pretty good about myself. That all came to a halt when I opened the front door and was knocked over by the stench. What!? It was April Fools, had someone sneaked in and made me dinner? No, god I hope not, since that smell is foul!

It was then that I spied a pool of slimy water, peppered with bits of fish, all over the floor. A trail led up the cabinet, over the counter and into the sink. Oh the sink. Both sides of my kitchen sink were filled with gray, greasy food sludge. I nearly vomited. I looked haplessly around and found myself, alone. All this!? I get all this!? Ack!!

It took 2 hours, numerous phone calls, a tequila shot and an entire roll of paper towels, before I could stop cleaning. There was still sludge in the sink and a stink in the air, but I could walk and put away the groceries. The door is open, so I don't asphyxiate from bleach and fish. It's chilly in LA and my heater was red tagged by the gas co. so, I have the oven on and open. By the end I was praying that I didn't die of CO2 poisoning or some strange fish fungus.

How did all this occur? MY EFFING UPSTAIRS NEIGHBOR, SHOVED A WHOLE FISH DOWN HIS GARBAGE DISPOSAL!!!!! BONES AND ALL!!!!!

Obviously having a rollicking good time on the westside.