Wednesday, August 19, 2009

SPYING ON THE NEIGHBORS SERIES, EPISODE 1

The Neighbors Have a New Puppy
10:05pm

Scene: (from my window)

Puppy alone in frame, pooping on the floor of the apartment. Once finished Puppy turns to sniff steamy pile of poop and excitedly scampers out of frame. (I laugh hysterically and contemplate calling Sparkles for a play by play)

Sock Feet enters frame, (I determine it is the man half of the couple), and flops into full frame via the couch. He is eating Pringles. He notices the pile to his left and dives right back into the can of Pringles. Sock Feet gets up to fetch the remote.

(without audio I can only deduce he must have said to Bare Feet (the female half), "Get the poop.")

Bare Feet enters frame with blue plastic baggie. Sock Feet opens a beer and changes channels. Bare Feet aims the plastic bag for the pile and scoops the poop. Puppy bounces into frame and chomps on blue plastic baggie. Puppy is really into this new game of tug o' war. Bare Feet swats at Puppy and holds tight to the baggie. Sock Feet turns head and waves his free hand from the couch. Puppy shakes his head.

Blue plastic baggie rips open and poop takes flight. In a twist of instamatic karma, the poop lands on the couch right next to Sock Feet. In his haste to get out of the path of incoming poop, he spills his beer and knocks over the Pringles. I fall over laughing.

When I last peeked, Sock Feet was wildly gesturing and opening his mouth like a bass while Puppy rolled in spilled beer and chips. Bare Feet was standing with the empty blue plastic baggie, right over the spot on the floor where the pile was laid. Now that last part is just not fair.

Lesson: If you spy Puppy's poop, pick it up.

1 comment:

Alisa said...

wow...you literally can't make this shit up!