05/23
Saturday, May 24, 2008
BIOLOGICALLY OPPOSED
Recently both of my parents, independently had occasion to visit my house.
My Father walked in and whilst touring the kitchen (ha-ha) he pointed to my stove top and said, "What is all this? How do you cook with all that crap up there?" I responded that I have no counters anyway, so what did it matter that I made a David Hicks tablescape on my 6 inches of stove top?
My Mom walked in gestured at the stove and squealed, "Ohhh, I love all this!"
ALL THINGS CONSIDERED
I have possibly just incurred the single shittiest week of my life. Okay, so perhaps the week I was finally diagnosed, alone in a hospital room with cancer was worse, but this one came close. I guess that is really saying something. I should start at the beginning, since that provides a bit of order to the chaos.
Monday morning I felt that I should call Mom. I got busy, had a couple meetings and she left me a voicemail. I snatched up the phone on my desk and speed dialed her back. She quietly informed me that Daddy Chet had died. He was my last Great Grandparent. I am nearly 30, which made him near to 100. He still lived in his own house and had a girlfriend! He was an amazing guy. I cried.
Later that day I took myself to the dentist. Things began to take a turn for the worst in earnest. I was here informed that my teeth are rotting out of my head, thanks in no small part to chemo and cancer - blah, blah. I cried again. I took my wounded pride (I heart my big, white, shiny teeth - damn it!) and temporary crowned tooth home.
Wednesday saw a 7am return to the dentist for more bad toothy news. As I laid there and cried some more, I felt the string of bad diagnosis conversations starting all over again. How can this be real - again!? I showed up at the office and tried to work it out. I tried not to stress about money. I tried not to explode into a rage over how crappy dental insurance is. I tried not to just throw my little hands up and say, "Fuck it. I quit." I wondered where I was going to find 5000.00
I churned over how I was unhappy and needed something to change. I should have remembered to be careful what I wished for. The 2 next things that occurred rocked me to my core. They also drove home that this is an intense period of change and decision making. The message being Clean Out Your Life!
I had a huge fight with my Father. Wednesday night I finally collapsed on my kitchen floor and just sobbed. Great loud heaving sobs of frustration and loneliness. I haven't felt that alone in a long time.
So welcome to Thursday. In a shocking turn of events I lost my job. I asked for a change and I got it. I didn't cry. I was damn elated in some ways. In the interest of exposing secrets and turning over new leaves and all that, I loved what I did at my job, but I was miserable doing it. I didn't fit. I knew this, my boss knew this, I am fairly certain even B knew it. By noon I was gone, having collected my coffee mug and misc files. I had just enough time to toss the stuff into my house before I was off to the Endodontist. Please, me done with the toofers!?
The first bright spots have started to appear. At this point I have to laugh. When I am running in the wrong direction things like this happen in my life. I get tossed under the bus just enough to remind me that a change in perspective can make all the difference. So bring it on.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS SCENARIO?
Good morning. I just chewed up 1000.00 worth of your truck engine. Coffee?
* only in Sacto!!
Monday, May 5, 2008
SMITTEN
when is the last time you enjoyed the grass so much?
* cat food and flea spray are on the grocery list
BIG ASS OATMEAL COOKIES
Okay, so I was bested by that pretty electric mixer below. Thoughts of it in my kitchen, made me whip up a batch of gooey oatmeal cookies on steroids.
recipe hunting!
everything I need
yummy!
giant cookies need giant raisins!
Sunday, May 4, 2008
FRENCH REVUE DE MODES
This is my favorite magazine!! It is published twice a year, has a killer site, reprints articles in English (in the back) and covers, fashion, culture, design, photography, everything fabulous!!! The only thing is, she can be a bitch to find. 3 weeks and 13 news stands and book shops later...oy.
i need this library. yes, library.
i love type
12 covers to choose from!!
RANDOM IS AS RANDOM DOES
Just a few random photos of some super yummy sushi I had last weekend on a whim with my cousin! Look what other randomness we encountered on our walk to the restaurant. Yes -- we walked!
creepy? cool? maybe both?
baby wants a revolver!!
*3rd Ave. on the way to Izaka-Ya by Katsu-Ya
Friday, May 2, 2008
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